Only One
by Jazyrha
Summary: I am the only one in my world. That makes me God. Then why is it... that I cannot create heaven? Then why is it... that I am trapped inside this hell?


**Only One**

I am the only one in my world.

That fact makes me God of that world. That fact makes me everything and nothing. That fact alone is enough to come to this conclusion.

I am the only one behind this wall.

No one can break through it. I won't let anyone see the world behind it. It's my world, mine and only mine. No one else can share this world with me, for I would not be God anymore if that happens.

In my world, I make the rules. In my world, no one can hurt me. This is my place, the only place I belong.

I am the only one in this world.

I'm the only one, but I am not lonely. No, I don't care. I'm used to this. I can rule the world on my own. I don't need any kind of affection, love or help. A God doesn't need such things.

A God doesn't cry. A God doesn't give up.

A God reaches all he wants.

I've created hell, for I am God. I am everything and nothing. I am the wind, the rain, the sun, and the only person that can see this world. I am the only one living here. This makes me different and it makes me who I am.

I don't need anyone else.

For I am God. I am already everything.

They've tried to get in. They've tried before, but I will not let them. I will not let them see what I am, what for world I created.

This is my hell.

This is the hell I created.

I cannot let anyone in, because it will make me human too, it will make me less then I could be. It would hurt me. People will hurt me. For them, I'll never be good enough. I cannot let them in anymore, I simply don't know how anymore.

I cannot let them ease the consuming pain inside. I cannot let them extinguish the eating flames inside this hell. This is my cage. This is my world. This is me… and me alone.

Me alone.

For ever.

Always.

Captured.

Trapped.

But I am God.

I am a God who's chained to the hell he created himself.

There is no escape.

I cannot escape anymore. I cannot go back.

This is me, in the shadows. These are my dried tears that refuse to fall.

This is me. For ever.

This is the hell I made, some time ago, on a day I don't remember anymore. This is the cage I captured myself in, this is the key I lost.

I am the only one in the world.

I can see them, like through a window, from behind an old, broken camera that's constantly taking pictures. I can see them, the ones outside. I can see them and I can talk to them.

But they can't understand me. Never.

They can't understand my world, my thoughts, that what I am.

Not even that blonde guy, that idiot who seems to have this gift to persuade people. Not even he, not even he can see through it.

And sometimes I wish I didn't have to be God in this world.

Because this world is starting to feel lonely.

And his world looks so bright. His world shines and he smiles all the time. His world is filled with happiness, with shining lights, the believe he can do anything.

Sometimes I think he's a fool.

Most of the time, I want to share his world.

But I cannot do that. For I am God and this is the hell I created. This is the world I cannot leave, because a God cannot leave his own world.

Or maybe he can, but he's slightly afraid.

I want to share their world, their world that's called the Host Club, that little place on the world where dreams come true and everything and nothing happens. I want to be there too, the real me.

But this is the hell I created.

This is the door I locked. This is the cage I build. It has never been my father or anyone else, I know that. No. I'm not that kind of person that would let other people decide over me.

I just created this world. This world that has hell, but that has forsaken heaven.

But… since when does a God feel lonely?

Since when does a God wish, pray even, hopes that there's someone who can save him? Since when has a God this burning desire to break down the wall and stand there where he cannot go?

There, between them. There, where they're laughing and where they are happy.

That place that seems heaven to the God who could only create hell.

Even as a God, he's no good. Even as a God, he fails. Even as a God, he's still pathetic.

I am the only one in this world.

That makes me God of that world.

Then why…

Why is it that I cannot create heaven?

* * *

cough

This is SO bad XD I have honestly no idea how that came into my mind. And I guess it suits a lot better with the twins, but oh well, it's SUPPOSED to be about Kyouya XD Supposed.

God, this sucks XDD Aaaaah, weeeell!

Review and tell me you think it sucks too? XD


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